Acquisitions Incorporated Wiki
Acquisitions Incorporated Wiki

This season consists of a single live episode from PAX West 2010. PAX West has since changed names to PAX Prime. During the live event, several questions are made available to the audience to vote on via texting.

Season Synopsis[1][]

The adventure opens with Acquisitions Incorporated posted up in the Dwarven settlement of Hammerfast. Their efforts in Hammerfast reaches the temple of Moradin who are willing to resurrect Aeofel, who died at the end of Season 3, free of charge. After discussing amongst themselves; Jim, Omin, and Binwin agree to participate in the public resurrection ritual.

During the ritual, each member of Acquistions Inc. is needed to say a few words of encouragement to bring Aeofel's soul back to this plane. Even after all of their eulogizing and a long while of the priests of Moradin completing the ritual Aeofel's soul cannot be returned. The priests convene and give the party foul news: Aeofel cannot be returned from the dead because he has already been resurrected! Acquisitions Inc stays in Hammerfast for another week awaiting news about their fallen ally. Each PC spends some time trying to gather information in the city about who could have resurrected Aeofel. The party tracks down one Leer Ambershard whom they collectively intimidate and physically assault for information. It would seem that, according to leer, Citrine Ambershard resurrected Aeofel to spite Acquisitions Incorporated after they broke into her manor in Season 3. Citrine has been taking slaves to a dungeon complex called the 'Twisting Halls'. Leer doesn't know much about the Twisting Halls besides their existence and location. While traveling to the Twisting Halls, the party is strangely stalked by a shambling undead creature hereby known as "Mr. Stinky". Wil Wheaton introduces his temporary PC, Mr. Stinky. Within the Twisting Halls, the party arrives at a portal that Citrine Ambershard has been using to get around. The party gathers around the portal unsure of how to interact with it while Jim inspects. It's at this point that the first live question becomes available for the audience to vote on. It's quickly realized that to activate the portal it is necessary for each character to step inside the circle and share their darkest secret this secret would then be known to who created the circle--Citrine Ambershard. After each party member speaks aloud their secrets which are listed below, the character teleports to another location:

  • Jim Darkmagic: I magically darken my hair
  • Mr. Stinky: Mr. Stinky is self-conscious about...stink
  • Binwin Bronzebottom: I've embezzled 10%...20%.....25%
  • Omin Dran: Acquisitions Incorporated is a partnership, between a brother and a sister. The sister is really cool, and she went into a dungeon one time when I was very young and I didn't follow after her, I stayed outside and she never came back out.

The party each in order teleports to a craggy expanse featuring jagged rocks the color of blood. The blasted landscape is riddled with belching gouts of acid. After a few miles of following a trail the party comes upon presumably dead slaves, corpses still shackled that have been branded and bludgeoned to death. Continuing along the path, the party finds what is described as a "docile-seeming hellbeast eating some blood-rock" which Jim immediately attempts to domesticate and mount.

While the party is actively considering their new mount, Aeofel Elhromane is shackled and hooded with only the ability to smell the caustic acid in the air while being poked and prodded along by what he can tell are Dwarves. Aeofel, still hooded, introduces himself to another prisoner who has a 'surfer' accent. Through this new found friend named 'Rad Longhammer', Aeofel learns that they are destined for a place called Slaughterfast. After a long time traveling, Aeofel's hood is removed which reveals a massive fortress and a number of 'charcoal-skinned Dwarves' (Duergar). Aeofel notices he has been given a Dwarven brand on his otherwise perfect Eladrin skin, as well as a floating stone square platform featuring Citrine Ambershard and several Dwarven crossbow-women. Citrine threatens Aeofel, saying that as AI has stolen from her something of great value she will be 'reimbursed'. A great red devil appears on the battlements of the fortress, joined by a shackled Tiefling who proclaims "Lord Gastivar welcomes you to the fortress of Slaughterfast". Aeofel trades insults with this imposing demon before the gates to Slaughterfast are opened and a squad of Duergar carrying a chest. Citrine descends to inspect the chest, finding it full of red gems seemingly payment for the procession of slaves. Citrine mockingly asks Aeofel where his friends are now that he needs them most and it is at this moment that a massive hellbeast comes charging across the plain carrying Acquisitions Inc.

The platform carrying Citrine rises back into the air as the devil on the battlements commands the catapults to fire. The Dwarven crossbow-women fire bolts at the party upon the hellbeast but all miss. The Duergar surrounding the prisoners begin to beat on them. Aeofel fey-steps (teleports) towards his friends and escapes from his shackles at the same time. Jim slaughters the four Dwarven slavers while inadvertently hitting Rad at the same time. A gout of flame is launched from a ballista at Binwin (as selected in the second audience participation question). Omin rushes forward to heal Binwin and uses his holy magic to knock Citrine off her platform into an acid pit. Citrine emerges, dying, from the acid pit and beseeches Asmodeus to bring forth a creature to kill her enemies. The crossbow-women are dispatched by Jim who then sics 'Helly' the hellcow onto a fleeing Dwarf. Lord Gastivar joins the battle by throwing a ball of fire at Aeofel & Binwin, incidentally killing one of the last Duergar as well. The third and final question convenes as the audience decides what monster Citrine has brought forth with her prayer to Asmodeus. The ground where the Ambershard matriarch stood cracks and a fissure in the ground forms revealing a fiending five-headed hydra. Mr. Stinky rushes the hydra and wails on it with his severed arm. Aeofel prays to Melora and casts both of his daily powers on the hydra. Jim draws forth a magma beast to join the fight on the hydra as well. While it takes him an action point, divine guidance, and a little audience intervention Binwin uses his own daily and kills the Hydra with a final smite coming through from Aeofel's deity. Gastivar and his Tiefling disappear from the fortress battlements and the party retreats.

Season Details[]


Non-Player Characters[]

Notable Quotes[]

  • "I'll do anything just tell the Dwarf to stop kicking me in the nuts!" - Leer Ambershard
  • "The only shards you're going to be having are in your nuts..." - Binwin Bronzebottom
  • "Your friends will be a footnote in the history of the Nentir Vale!" - Citrine Ambershard
  • "Acquisitions Incorporated will not be a footnote, Acquisitions Incorporated will write the book" - Aeofel Elhromane


  • This is the first season that is featured both live and via a multi-camera recording produced by PAX in conjunction with Wizards of the Coast.
  • This season begins the revelation of Omin Dran's backstory including the formation of Acquisitions Incorporated as well as the status of his 'sister'. This 'sister' is likely referring to Auspicia Dran (initially Portentia Dran, however, Jerry retconned the names of his sisters as well as their status')

 Player Statistics[]

Character Critical Hits Critical Misses Damage Dealt Damage Taken Last Hits* Downs**
Omin Dran 0 1 45 0 1 0
Binwin Bronzebottom 0 1 34 28 2 0
Jim Darkmagic 1 0 55 24 7 0
Aeofel Elrohmane 0 0 69 13 0 0
Mr. Stinky 0 0 8 10 0 0
DM: Chris Perkins 0 1 N/A N/A N/A N/A

*Last Hits are any instance where the attack or effect from one PC has Downed or Killed an NPC. Not which PC was most responsible for those kills.

**Downs are considered any instance where a PC is taken down to 0 hp or lower. This is not Player Character death which is exceedingly rare.