Season of Acquisitions Incorporated consists of a single live episode: 'The Last Will and Testament of Jim Darkmagic I' at the 2011 PAX Prime Expo. The live event featured a musical introduction and guest act from Paul & Storm. With the same cast returning from Season Four; Chris Perkins as DM, Jerry Holkins as Omin Dran, Mike Krahulik as Jim Darkmagic, Scott Kurtz as Binwin Bronzebottom, and Wil Wheaton as Aeofel Elhromane. It begins shortly after the end of Season Four.
Season Synopsis[1]
The adventure opens to the bored party of Acqusitions Inc. still residing in the basement of The Silver Unicorn in Fallcrest. Wisera Osterman is soon to sell the establishment, which means the crew needs to find a new base of operations. A magic mouth appears on the wall of the cellar while the party is reminiscing about the good old days. A volleyball is spat out from the magic mouth and on the volleyball has a message written on it.
James,
I'm writing this letter on a football because we're out of scrolls. Valkar was supposed to pick up some at the store but he fell asleep and forgot. He's dreadfully out of sorts these days and more drunk than usual I'm afraid. It is with heavy heart that I tell you that Granpda Jim has passed on. The family gathers presently at the estate in Newhamp Shire. It would be all kinds of banana-pancakes awesome if you could join us for the reading of the will. All of your cousins are here, the living ones anyway, my have they grown and fair Olivia has turned into quite the busty bombshell. She would be tickled to see you I'm sure. Of course I meant that in the good way and not the bad way. It's been so long since your last visit, I know you find the old house tiresome but I'd be...whoops I've run out of football. Be a good boy and don't keep old Snarl waiting. Love, Grandma.
The party agrees to travel to Jim's family estate for the reading of his grandfather will, via the family dracolich Kronk who lands in the streets. An old crone out in the street screams out to Jim as they take out to "Watch out for the Wartstaffs". It's revealed that Jim is actually Jim Darkmagic III as both his father and grandfather held that title.
When the party arrives it would seem that there has been some kind of delivery to the mansion, according to the family manservant several cratefuls of hamburger meat. The company assembles in the foyer of the manor where more crates of raw hamburger have been stacked. A Dwarf named Dimsy Ironwick, the 'handydwarf', who hits it off with Binwin. 48:40
Season Details
Locations
- Fallcrest
- The Silver Unicorn
- The Darkmagic Estate
Non-Player Characters
- Wisera Osterman
- Snarl, the Darkmagic family Coachman
- Valkar the Magnificent, Tiefling manservant of the Darkmagic estate
- Kronk, the Darkmagic family skeletal dragon
- Dimsy Ironwick
Notable Quotes
- "Listen, Elves are the Eladrin's hillbilly cousins!" - Wil Wheaton
- "Some fucker put a giant acid pit in the foyer" - Wil Wheaton
Trivia
Player Statistics
| Character | Critical Hits | Critical Misses | Damage Dealt | Damage Taken | Last Hits* | Downs** |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Omin Dran | 0 | 1 | 45 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Binwin Bronzebottom | 0 | 1 | 34 | 28 | 2 | 0 |
| Jim Darkmagic | 1 | 0 | 55 | 24 | 7 | 0 |
| Aeofel Elrohmane | 0 | 0 | 69 | 13 | 0 | 0 |
| Mr. Stinky | 0 | 0 | 8 | 10 | 0 | 0 |
| DM: Chris Perkins | 0 | 1 | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
*Last Hits are any instance where the attack or effect from one PC has Downed or Killed an NPC. Not which PC was most responsible for those kills.
**Downs are considered any instance where a PC is taken down to 0 hp or lower. This is not Player Character death which is exceedingly rare.